Swallow your pride occasionally, it's non-fattening

Humbleness... What a notion it is for some people to grasp. To realize that you're not the only person on this earth that matters. To care of the reprecussions of what you say or do to other people. Seems simple enough, yet so few people can actually be this way. This world, whether we'd like to admitt it or believe it, is filled with narcissistic people. People who pray on those who dont feel good about themselves, people who have such low self esteem that they feel the need to crush those people who have humanity in them. What a sad world. Where vanity has overpowered humanity. A world where shoes, bags and clothes has overshadowed whats actually important in life. What people fail to realize and why I time and time again shake my head in disappointment for is how people treat others is a direct view into their soul. It shows what kind of person you are. And if you think of it, what kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to be so vain that it makes you ugly no matter how beautiful your exterior? Do you want to be the person who turns a unique person into a cardboard cutout just to fit in? Do you want to be the cause of destroying a person's self esteem just to attempt to feel better about yourself? This self centered personality is a direct reflection of a persons own insecurities I find. How sad of an existance, and how lonely. I'm not at all saying that confidence is bad, I think its beautiful to see someone that is content with who they are. I think the problem in todays society lies within the people who hurt and control others with the excessive narcissistic tendencies. If these people love the people around them, and are confident, there is a less obnoxious and irritating way to be.  If a person is truly confident with who they are as a person, then they would have no desire to be vile towards one another. They would find opportunity to help others see the beauty in themselves and relish at the idea of helping someone see the good in themselves. I find it so sad that people can have so many fantastic qualities and another person will search for that one little flaw and point it out. I think that people do this because they feel that if they point out a "flaw", it will then take away from the other persons qualities and make them the "better" person. In reality though all that does is make the other person lose sight of how wonderful they are. It's so sad that people tear eachother down that way. It's not because one person has a certain quality that another person doesnt, that does not make their qualities any less wonderful, everyone is good at something and everyone can be a better person if they work at it.
I can honestly say that I find comfort and happiness in helping others feel good about themselves. Everyone needs a little boost once in a while to make them feel like theyre doing okay. Not that everyone will agree that people need validation, but once in a while it's nice to hear some encouragement from an outside source. It costs nothing to be kind. Life is already tough enough, why not make it a little more pleasant by being nice and be there for one another. As the wise Gandhi once said, "we must be the change we wish to see in the world".  Be the person you can be proud to look back on and know you did your best to be all you could be.

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"
Gandhi

The Heart Within The Heart.

You ever have one of those moments that hit a nerve. Heard a story that touched a part of your heart so deeply it made you cry? That happened to me last night. I was watching American Idol, yes I know, it's just a t.v. show, but this was different. The last audition was by a 26 year old man, not too sure of his name sorry, and he had the saddest story. It really touched my heart, I could barely even talk after seeing his story. This 26 year old man was engaged to this beautiful young woman for almost two years, he had footage of his proposal to her. They had promised to get married but only two years after their engagement. Then two months before they were about to finally say their vows before God and their families, she got into a car accident. She suffered severe brain damage and was in a coma. He kept faith she'd wake up, and she did. Although she came back to him, she was now confined to a wheelchair with severe brain damage. She can no longer talk properly, she has no muscle control so her face became all distorted and her body spasms whenever it feels like it. It takes a special and wonderful human being to be there even though it's hard to see the person you love suffering like that. But he said he was about to make a vow to this woman and he would stand by her. And he has, he and her mother are her care takers. He went on American Idol and sang "Breakeven" by the Script. He sang so amazingly, and the judges told him to go get his fiancee and bring her in. You could just see the love this man had for his fiancee. My point with all this is that too many of us think we have this infinite amount of time. That everything just happens to other people and not to us. This man's story broke my heart, I imagined being in this man's position, and also being in this womans position, and it terrified me. To ever look at my boyfriend and see him suffer the way she is, or to ever lose all movement and just see the pain in everyones eyes around me. What an unbearable thought. We walk around everyday without even giving a second thought to how lucky we are. We complain about the most ridiculous things, I specify "we" because I do it all the time. I dont blame anyone for doing so, but in times where I see stories like that i remember how so very blessed I am. The people I love around me are happy and healthy. I have this great life and boyfriend, I have a job, I have my health. What more can ask for?! In a split second everything can change. I can only imagine what's going on in this poor young woman's mind. She can't voice it but I'm sure it's there. Also the fact that this was caused in a car accident just also goes to show how reckless people are. Life is so delicate and sacred. I'm not saying not to live it fully and if lets say your thrill in life is sky diving then more power to you, but just to realize not everyday is a given. Putting off until tomorrow what you really want should always be done in the present. Bad things happen all the time, and there's no descrimination about it. Tragedy can touch anyone. This story will live inside my heart forever. It will be a constant reminder of the blessings in my life and how beautiful life truly is. I'm not one to ask God any kind of favours for myself because I have all I truly need, but in instances like these, I like to pray for those who have suffered. I hope God can help this little family stay courageous and positive as they have been. They are truly inspiring and I wish for him all the success in the world. And also continued healing for this young woman. The music he sings really comes from his heart. With that said, I've always said God doesnt give anyone anything they cant handle, when you look into yourself and see your life you'll realize "hey. I'm still here, I'm still breathing, life will continue to go on". There are so many people out there suffering, but love and compassion seems to be the cure. With that said, appreciate everyday, live life to its fullest, be thankful and be good.

"Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die". -Amelia Burr

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
Mother Teresa

Babies, Kids, Really?

This blog has been inspired by all the screaming babies out there, all the "informative" articles, all the little poopie diapers and all the little smiles that brighten a day. I want to look back at this blog one day and laugh at myself for thinking I can figure children out without having any. I want other mothers to roll their eyes in thinking I can possibly understand. I want to attempt the impossible, I want to write about PARENTING :) Now,now, don't anyone who reads this start stoning me yet, my theory at the moment is that I've stood by and watched enough bus tantrums, screaming walmart babies and just children in general to form an argumentative opinion, so hear me out.
Ahh children. They make your heart sing dont they?! I say sing, because they can make your mind hit all kinds of notes during a day don't they. They laugh, they cry, they whine, ohh the whining.... I have seen women go through silent melt downs, very loud melt downs. Just goes to show how everyone deals with stress differently. All the while, the by standers nod their heads at I'm not sure what?! Is it the screaming child? Or the screaming/silent mother? And I'm standing there wondering what kind of parent I would like to be. I'll be the first to admit, the screaming bus and metro train babies send me off the edge a bit in my head, but I dont blame the baby. I blame society! If you look at other cultures that come here to canada, their children are prim and proper at the age of 2. I blame North America for this way of bringing up children in such an "amicable" and "walk all over me" way that has destroyed parenting in my opinion. I was always told by my mother, "I'm not your friend, I'm you parent" although I hated that saying, I respected it. Especially in the world we live in today I find it so important to make yourself the rock, the authoritative figure in your childs life, children will have a lot of "friends" in their lifetime, I think the most important thing any parent can be is a parent!
Children from what I have seen, are specialists at testing limits, of course they would be, they must see what they can get away with. I can absolutely see why repeating yourself can be annoying by the end of the day, most of the time, I dont know how mothers do it. On my grumpy days, when I see what mothers at the stores, on the bus or anywhere have to go through, I'm exhausted for them. But consistancy is key! They say children are like sponges and it's very true! They're smarter than we give them credit for! They absolutely understand authority, they need it! But being on the ball can help, I have seen it done! Children hitting, screaming, saying bad words??? WOahhh what a beating I would have gotten! How has this standard become accepted? Or forget accepted, how has it become tolerated by parents?! I'd like to think that parents would want to raise intelligent self sufficent human beings that will make it through life with the helpful instruction provided by good parenting. But no, instead you see children that are selfish, they scream and get what they want, they have bad manners, they have no respect, and this is what parents want our future leaders to be like?! Really??!! This world will end up falling apart with this kind of up bringing. Handing everything to your child that they want I find is the most crippling thing you can do. It absolutely sends them the wrong message that in life, things are just handed to you. Then when they get into the real world, they dont know how to fend for themselves. Talk about a breakdown for them the moment their parents aren't around to do everything for them. Which by the way your children probably don't even appreciate because it's become their "norm" that they're used to. Children need your presence, not your presents.
Another aspect I'd like to touch, as your children get older, why on earth the sudden loss of interest? You see teenagers just out on their own, parents don't know where they are. Although I agree to a certain extent independance is a healthy thing to incorporate into your teens life, at this age of "finding themselves" and expirementation, they need you more than ever. I know it may seem like as soon as they hit 13 you just dont get them anymore, and don't know what to talk about so you just dont... But they need the communication, they need your advice, they need their annoying parent in their business to help them avoid the terrible mistakes. Or if not avoid them at least to be there when they do fall to help them back up. I remember being a teenager so vividly, it's such a rough time. Although my parents were there for me as a child, they were utterly clueless once I became a teenager. That's the key, it's to try and stay current so that you're always one step ahead of your child. Because although they're now taller than you and wear about 10 pounds of makeup and hair gel, that's what they are, CHILDREN. Yes, yes, "young adults" if you will, but they need you none the less.
From what I've gathered, there will be all kinds of parenting tips out there, but just using your common sense will help you. If you don't have that little voice telling you what to do in a situation, just remember, you're strong, you can do it and those little people looking up at you need you and your wisdom. Simply having children doesnt make you a parent or an expert. Anybody can make a child, the hard part is to bring up that child and make them into balanced young adults. Being a good parent doesnt seem like the easiest thing in the world, far from it. With that said, it's far easier to just give in, but much more rewarding to put the effort into parenting. And above all, show your child love, show them every single day, it's the best gift you can give them of all, it helps them grow in a way that nothing else can compare.
Now for those that do not agree with what I have just said, once again, that is just my opinion, but for those who enjoyed this blog thank you and I hope to look back at this and feel encouraged and motivated to be all I can be as a parent.


"The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children." ~Edward, Duke of Windsor

"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others." ~Haim Ginott

"The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering." ~Benjamin Spock

Is this it?

I wake up every morning lately asking myself the same question " is this it?"... I've seemed to have fallen into the dreaded pattern of routine, ughh. You grow up having all these ambitions and imagining what your life will be like, not that I am complaining, because my life for the most part is great, but theres missing something. It may sound juvenile, but I want more for myself, as I would imagine do most people, but also like most people I am afraid. Afraid of the unknown, scared to get out of this pattern I've created. Sometimes not even sure what it is exactly that I am afraid of, but just afraid because it's new. Then I think back to when I was a teenager, so fearless, and wonder where that person has gone. I fear waking up one day and not recognizing that person in the mirror... I almost feel lost. It's hard to admit these kind of feelings just because its not necessarily something that most people want to brag about, but hey, it's all part of changing right?! Admitting is the first step to changing things... Every day I tell myself I'm going to do something about it, then my laziness, fear and just plain old habit kicks in and I blow it off. I dont want to blow off life, no one should. Once you start going down that road, it's so hard to get back. Years have come and gone and I'm just stuck, stuck with this pit in my stomach, stuck feeling sadness almost everyday... What kind of life is this.. Being sad, lifes too short to be sad... Life is whatever I want it to be, everybody has it in them to be great, to achieve greatness.. The fear, thats the last thing I or anyone should listen to, or people who say you cant do it, its because they're too cowardly to do it themselves... I don't want to be that person, the person who listens to advice from people who have no joy in life, who just want to tear people down with them, I dont want to be that person who says no to life, I dont want to give up.. This is my promise to myself and to the world that I can!!! And I will! Everyone should do this today, do yourself a favor and get up and do what YOU want! Dont wait, if you dont do it now, tomorrow never comes.. I'm living proof of that.. No one can take your life into their hands, its up to you to pick yourself up and brush yourself off and live life! I know everyone wants to.. This fear, this feeling that you cant, push it aside. It has no power, unless you give it power. This blog, if anyone reads it, I'm not claiming to be this person I am describing who is fearless, its the person I set out to be. Its how I would like to live life, its the realization and wake up call I have chosen to give myself, and in doing so maybe someone out there will read this and feel like they want the same thing.. Life comes to those who take charge and go for it, dont wait, the time is now.

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up -- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had". ( Elisabeth Kubler-Ross )

What's Fat?

Body image.... What a distortion. You can just be walking down the street, spot another person that has a different body type than you, then BAM... just like that, you think you're fat.
I think in todays society, the corruption stems from all the access to the media. A media where women have been nipped, tucked and re-constructed in places nobody can even imagine. Uh HELLO!!!!! They have millions of dollars and spend half of it on making themselves look plastic. It's a sad world we live in when little 7 year old girls are concerned with their bodies, think they're fat and try and make themselves look 30. Childhood is such a precious moment in any persons life, it's such a shame that young girls feel compelled to worry about these things so early on. I'm absolutely not saying that being HEALTHY, meaning exercising and eating right is a bad thing, it's the absolute opposite! I think it's crucial to keep healthy, I'm a strong believer in that. But there are the right ways to go about it and the unhealthy ways. Beating yourself up about your body every day is unhealthy on so many levels!
I DO understand, believe me, that getting up and doing something and exercising isn't easy, but it WILL give the results you want in the end, how amazing!
To all you women out there who feel uncomfortable, depressed and saddened by what you see, GET UP, do something, if you dont do it, no one else will do it for you. There's no reason to torture yourself everyday!
I've come to realize that almost everyone has an issue with their bodies! So if you feel alone, don't! Almost every person you walk by during a day, just realize that they're struggling with something about their bodies they dont like either, believe me! Even those people you say "wow I wish I looked like her" chances are, that person wishes they could change something about themselves, maybe even admires that something about you! It's a strange world we live in, I myself at times struggle with my own insecurities. Then I realize there's nothing to be insecure about, I'm me and if I dont love myself, then how can anyone else?! In life I think that either you have to a- accept things or b- change them! Or else your just caught in the middle more lost than ever.
In the end, everyone has to realize that if you're really unhappy with something in your life, CHANGE IT! Anything is possible when you put your mind to it.
There will be great days, there will be hard days, just remember to thrive toward the happy ones. For the happy and content ones are those worth fighting for.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” (Oscar Wilde).

What Women Want

Oh the age old question and mystery. What women want.....
The funny thing about it is the fact that it has been a mystery through many years. Ages after they have come up with technology like I-Pods. laptops and have cured diseases. But the mind of a women remains a mystery. It's very funny and ironic because hold the drum roll please......
WOMEN DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT EITHER! This is the reason it has remained a mystery for so long, women claim they have it all figured out, but when it comes down to it and you ask what they want, they're just as stumped as men are.
Here's our defense, women overthink EVERY single little thing to such a point that they second guess themselves constantly. Men tend to go with basic instinct, but oh no, not us women. We like to make everything as complicated as possible. In my opinion, if women made it too simple, they would get bored, hence why they make everything so complicated. Subconsciously women enjoy the uncertainty that presents itself from not knowing. Having the exact answer takes away from other possibilites to pop up.
And another reason why no one will ever know what women want... ALL women want different things and have very diverse expectations from their lives. The best advice I can think of to give to any man struggling with this question is to stop and just listen. From day to day, a womens wants changes according to their mood. Yes I realize that's a lot to handle with our mood swings and all, but hey, you gotta love us anyways. Not all women are psychotic I swear, all we all need is some understanding. And FYI men, being simple doesn't always make it easy to understand you all either, but we love you all just the same.
This age old question in my opinion, no matter how many books are written, and how many articles are read, will just remain a mystery, like bigfoot.
If time is taken to really listen to us, we make sense.... sometimes. For the most part, it all ends with women just wanting to hear, "yes, I understand". This is the reason why women talk so much about feelings amongst eachother. Other women tend to have more sympathy and can somehow become an emotion camelion. They know the exact emotion their girlfriend is going through or change their mind set and pretend they do. Communication, it's not hard to do, it's the right way to love someone. By doing so, I think women will stop over-thinking and will no longer be such a mystery. The dreaded communication that men hate will no longer be an issue, and women will feel loved in the process, talk about a touchdown in your relationship! So men out there, you want to understand women, put down the remote, close the computer and talk to your partner, there, it's that simple.
All in all, what do women want?
LOVE and UNDERSTANDING.

" Find a man who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the man who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.' "

To commit or not to commit.

Relationships can be very complicated. They have the potential to make you soar and feel like anything in life is possible and great, but it can also break your heart. In my opinion, the outcome is the responsibility of both parties involved. It takes a lot of time and patience to make a relationship work. I myself have been in a relationship for almost seven years now, and it goes without saying that it has not always been an easy ride. I have people who have asked me "how have you done it, what's your secret". There's no magic way or answer to make a relationship work, I think what's important is to value the importance of honesty. As long as you and your partner are always honest toward one another I think that any relationship has the potential of being a great successful one.
Good communication is absolutely key in all relationships I find. I've known women that have been traumatized by past relationships. I think the reason a relationship may fail is often because the expectations are often too high and sometimes aimed at the wrong person. Women especially I find cling to this unrealistic idea of a relationship. Women tend to believe all men should be a certain way and do certain things. The reality is that all people are different and a relationship can be molded into something beautiful, but it has to come from both people involved. Forcing your idea of a relationship onto someone else can sometimes push the other person away. I dont think it to be realistic to think that you can change someone, ok maybe clothes or what not, because lets face it thats only the surface, but when you fall in love with someone, it should be much more than just skin deep. If you love the surface and cant deal with whats inside that person, I think that instead of driving yourself insane trying to change a person into something they're not, MOVE FORWARD, no shame or blame in that.
Yes, I'll agree, there are bumps along the road for many women who are searching for their soulmates. They may feel as if they never will, but the way I see it, the more you meet people that are "unsuitable" for you, the better you get to know yourself and really start realizing what you really want.
Even seven years into my relationship, I still keep learning and working at my relationship. I realize how lucky I am every day to have found someone I am so compatible with. I truly believe everyone has the potential to find an amazing worth while relationship as well. That person is out there, all I can give as advice is not to give up! And when that person does come along, realize that patience and honesty is very important to make any relationship a success.

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes -- all you need is one."